Writing

     What's going on?? Even though it hasn't been that long since I last posted I've missed writing. I'm currently on vacation in Punta Cana, Dominican Republic. And it is HOT! Are any of you on vacation?

     The resort we are staying at is beautiful. We stayed here in the summer of 2013 and have come back 2 years later. Although, and I feel kind of guilty saying this, I really miss home and don't think I am enjoying this trip as much as I did the first time we came. Of course I am SO thankful for being able to go on a trip like this and all of the other ones I have been on, but sometimes you just get that feeling where you need to be in your own home, your own room, your own bed. You know? I don't want to seem ungrateful or anything, I'm just speaking my mind.

     Wow, honesty hour (lol). 

     Anyway, so many amazing things have happened here in the past couple days. First of all, we eat at a buffet literally every day - which I don't think is doing me any good to be honest, haha. I keep eating more than I should. But, I'm on vacation! Good excuse, right? 

     We watched a Cirque show that was absolutely exquisite. My next post will most likely be a collection of photos from our vacation, so I'll include everything. There was dancing, ropes, and magnificent performers.

     We've witnessed multiple weddings this week. Yesterday we saw newlyweds taking a picture in front of the ocean made of beautiful shades of blue and it was so cool to watch. 

     Today my sisters and I might go parasailing which I'm looking forward to :) Have any of you been parasailing? Or done something super fun while on vacation? Two years ago when we were here the first time, I had gone tubing with one of my sisters and ended up breaking my wrist :/ Let's hope nothing bad happens while we're up in the air!

     Well, that's all for now :)

     If you have any stories from your summer, leave them in the comments!

     Thank you for reading and I'll talk to you soon.

*computer hug*

Hello loves <3

     Where I live it is currently 10:40 pm. Around 8 o'clock pm I finally put my laptop away after spending pretty much the entire day on YouTube. I decided to take a nap and ended up sleeping for about an hour. When I woke up I heard lots of noise and just really wanted to go back to sleep. So at 9:15 I got snuggled into my covers, my door closed, and tried to fall asleep.

     HA, NOPE!

     Apparently I'm not supposed to go to sleep yet. I've spent more than an hour tossing and turning. Trying different positions and pillows, turning on and turning off my desk lamp, letting my brain think about every possible subject in the world, but sleep just isn't coming.

     Last night I was having sleep trouble, too. Usually if I can't fall asleep it's because I'm looking forward to something the next day and am really eager for tomorrow to come. But these past few nights have been peculiar. I'm not uncomfortable or sick or anything. My body just isn't ready to go to bed when I want to.

     My mom came into my bedroom a few minutes ago and told me that she was also having trouble sleeping because her stomach hurt. So, she decided to do the work that she would have had to do tomorrow morning, and she just got it over wit! She told me that my body isn't ready to sleep just yet, so instead of spending time trying to fall asleep when it's not going to happen, I should do something else, like watch a movie. So instead, I decided to blog.

     I kinda feel like writing about anything right now, lol. I don't really have a specific subject in mind so...

     What's up with you guys? How's your summer/break/vacation going? In 5 days or so I will be in Punta Cana! And don't worry, I'll have a full blog post dedicated to pictures of my vacation ;) If you don't know, Punta Cana is a beautiful location in the Dominican Republic. We went on vacation there in the summer of 2013 and now we are going back! Where we stayed the waters are crystal blue, the drinks are tropical and delicious (non-alcoholic of course), and the sun never dies - except in the evening when the hotel hosts flame shows where people play with fire and we participate in group dances with exotic music.

     Are you going anywhere/on any vacations the rest of the summer? I'd love to know, share in the comments! I'm so pumped!

     In other news, I have loads of videos pre-filmed and edited as well as some ideas in mind to go up on my YouTube channel (subscribe!)! I will be doing a couple back-to-school videos in late August and a couple tags that I'm very excited about. I'm going to let you guys that read my blog in on Tuesday's video! I logged onto BuzzFeed and took countless quizzes, so be looking forward to that!

     If you have any BLOG POST or YOUTUBE VIDEO requests, please, please, please, leave them in a comment!

     So if you find yourself not being able to sleep no matter what you do, whip out your computer, a book, your phone, a sketchbook - and do something you love!

     Good night ;)

     Thank you for reading and I'll talk to you soon.

*computer hug*

Hello loves <3

     I know it's a bit too early to start writing school related posts, but I'm just gonna go with the flow. This year will be my first year in a high school; I am an incoming freshman. I don't know if all countries call each grade by a different name, but where I go to school the high school order is: freshman (9th), sophomore (10th), junior (11th), senior (12th).

     In the movies starring freshmen, they're always shoved into lockers, laughed at, and teased by seniors. I am the oldest in my family, I don't know if all this is true (hopefully I won't get pushed into a locker!).

    The past couple days I've been watching Freshman Advice videos on YouTube, trying to get a sense of what it's going to feel like being the one "new to high school". A lot of them were videos telling me things not to do - don't stop in the middle of the hallway, don't screw up your grades because it's really hard to get them back up, don't be obnoxious and try too hard to fit in, etc, etc. A couple said freshman year was challenging, but the least hard out of all 4 years. Some said freshman year went by in a heartbeat and was easy.

     It was fun to hear from people who have been through what I'm about to go through. It was interesting to see everyone's viewpoints and advice. These videos are getting me anxious and excited for high school at the same time.


     *straying off topic for a bit* The summers leading up to 7th and 8th grade were different than any other summer break I've had. The years previous I was always so excited to go back to school and was just WAITING and WAITING for the first day to come. I would lie around as days went by, "wasting" my time off school, doing nothing except wishing August 25th (or somewhere around then) would come faster.

     Then came middle school. My first year was great, but the two summers after that the feeling I'd had so often before was gone - it just wasn't there. I wasn't as excited to go to school. Yes, I did have my days where I was bored out of my mind and just wanted to get back into routine, but more often than not I was trying to push school out of my thoughts. The first day of 7th grade rolled around and hit me smack dab in the face. One minute I was sleeping in, the next I was up at 6:30 am.

     That feeling of not wanting to go back stayed...until now.

     *resume original topic* I know that my last post was all about making the most of your summer. But this year I just can't shake the feeling of wanting to go back to school. Wanting new experiences in high school. Wanting a new environment, different to the building I have been sitting in for 7 hours a day for 3 years straight.

     I guess I got so tired of middle school that high school just seems like a dreamland (Ok, yes, that sounds absolutely ridiculous, but my fingers are just typing away and I can't stop my brain from saying what it wants to say). That feeling will probably go away in the years to come, but I just want to think about right now - this very moment.

     Freshmen. The freshies. The new kids. The annoying ones (lol). Yes, upperclassmen may think of freshmen that way, but I am going to be one of those this year. And I am pumped. Pumped for new classes, new teachers, new hallways and lockers, new school supplies (hehe), new friends, new clubs, new schedule and routine, new me.

     Some might say that going to a new school doesn't change who you are, or it can't change who you are. I disagree. This year is a fresh start (Get it, FRESHman. Ok cringe). I'm not talking grade-wise. I mean, I'm a straight-A student. I'm talking about personally. I want this year to be the year that I love who I am and every aspect of me. I want to be more open to new things that the "old" me would've NEVER tried! I don't know if I've mentioned this in a previous post, but I signed up for theatre class - something I never would've thought of myself to do. But I want to explore new and different interests and the classes I take in school are a good place to start.

     That is my outlook on/thoughts about Freshman Year as an incoming/upcoming Freshman.

     I'm going to write this post again (hence the title, Part One) after Freshman year is over. I will be an upcoming Sophomore. Wait, that's actually a good idea. I could write two posts for each school year - before and after. Before as in what I think about my next year of school and after as in my experience, any advice and tips I have, and my thoughts about it overall. What do you think?


     If you have any high school or freshman experience stories, advice, and/or tips, leave me a comment! I'd LOVE to hear from you :)

     Thank you for reading and I'll talk to you soon.

*computer hug*

Hello loves <3

Hello loves <3

     Yesterday evening I decided to try and film a video on body image. As some of you may know, I've written about body image and the personal issues and experiences I have/have had with it. I thought that maybe I could branch out and make a YouTube video about it as well because I was able to get out what I wanted to say when I wrote those posts.

     So I turned the camera on and my mind went almost completely blank. In the past, I've written that I can't talk things out as well as I can write things out. I mean, the two are no where close. If I try to talk to someone about a problem I'm having or possibly need to confront someone about something they did, I'll go mute!

     But, I thought that because I wasn't talking to a person - in the flesh, I mean. I know that I'm talking to an audience when I film - it'd be just as easy as writing a blog post about it. NOPE (lol). My brain couldn't form words and I just got really emotional. I couldn't talk about it because I didn't know what to say and felt like I was making a fool of myself.

     Starting a YouTube channel was going to be my fresh start. A place where I could talk about anything and everything I wanted - just like my blog. But I thought that because I talk rather than write, creating videos would help me overcome my problem.

     It's hard to open up. More so for some than others. We all have our own personal things that we deal with and it doesn't make the situation better if you can't talk about it.

     Do any of you have tips? Tips on opening up, tips on being able to actually form sentences that will come out of my mouth when I'm talking (not in general, just when I'm talking about how I'm feeling or a conflict that I've been keeping inside)? Please share.

     Also, do any of you have this problem? Am I the only one who can't speak what I can type?

     It's important to talk. If you don't speak, everything is held inside. And the longer it's kept inside, the longer the build up will be till you explode out of stress, worry, and negativity. I don't want to explode! (lol again.) But seriously, I want to talk. I just can't.

     Thank you for reading and I'll talk to you soon,

*computer hug*